


Bird's-Eye View of Healthcare

by Ononymous



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:15:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26215480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ononymous/pseuds/Ononymous
Summary: Mind, body and soul. We have to take care of them all. Some have more issues with one than the other two. But for a (sort of) young man who's struggled long and hard with his mind and his soul, it would be a good idea not to neglect his body...
Comments: 6
Kudos: 6





	Bird's-Eye View of Healthcare

"And you're _sure_ I don't need to go into hospital?"

A throat was gruffly cleared. "If I referred you for this, the hospital would need referred to hospital. Plenty of rest and regular magical exercise should clear up your fatigue. For the..." Feathers clacked along a keyboard. "Twenty-third time, you don't have hypothaumatosis, and they wouldn't be happy with me sending you over to confirm that for the..." More tapping on the keyboard. "Eighth time."

A rubber duck squeaked in defeat. "But everything up here is still so... filthy."

Doctor Drake adjusted his glasses. "Ah, that prob'ly explains it. Anxiety. Still waiting for the day human sickness is contagious to us?"

Woshua stood up in his chair, scowling. "I've read about it, Doctor. Illnesses in livestock jump over and it's like they're a whole new thing, spreads like wildfire. It's only a matter of time-"

"You might as well wait on the barrier break-" He cleared his throat again as a cover. "Sorry, old saying. Might as well wait on the King to refuse you a cup of tea. The beasties that prey on beings of flesh don't get very far with beings of magic. I studied this for a long time, we just don't have what they want. You know this, Woshua. Been years now. Still going to that group of yours?"

The rubber duck sank in the tub slightly. "I've been busy. Fell out of touch."

"Well I don't know what you talk about in that circle, but I know Aaron thinks it keeps you grounded. He tells me whenever he's in here for a pulled muscle. Less anxiety will definitely keep the hypothaumatosis at bay. Will I write a prescription for your attendance, or can you book it yourself?"

"...myself."

"Alright then. I assume you'll want a normal checkup in six months regardless. Talk to reception on your way out to set it up."

Woshua carefully climbed down off the chair, grunted a farewell and headed out the door, stopping briefly to take a generous squirt of hand sanitizer and rubbing it over his forelegs. Doctor Drake nudged the door shut behind him with magic, closed Woshua's file on the computer and spent a few minutes answering emails. His "Come in" to the knock on the door was automatic, barely aware of saying it as he sent off his last reply. Still, he wasn't surprised to see someone already sitting down on the vacated chair. The surprise came in who it was.

"Uh, howdy Doc." He sat upright, fuzzy hands gripping the knees of his jeans, a slightly nervous smile allowing his fangs to peak through. If it wasn't for his attire and emerald eyes the Doctor might have mistaken him for his mother, even if he wasn't quite as tall as her yet.

"Ah, Prince Asriel. This is a, well, not a first, but-"

"Yeah, it's been a while."

Asriel scratched a decently sized horn while Doctor Drake returned to the medical database and pulled up "DREEMURR, A." A list of consultations for stress dating back long before the barrier had broke told him he'd gotten the wrong one, so he backed out and selected the other "DREEMURR, A.", which produced only two entries: A childhood examination requested urgently at short notice - yet reporting perfect health - and a completely normal complaint of pain related to horns budding. That had been two years ago.

"I ask your father how you're doing all the time. Even for a Boss Monster you seem to be fit as a fiddle."

"Well maybe physically, but, uh..." he looked at the ceiling. "The problems I have aren't normally medical in nature. I don't just leave things if I get in trouble, but I doubt there's much you could do."

"Hmm, yes," said Doctor Drake, examining Asriel's file again. "Doctor Aventine for counselling, and Doctor Alphys for... specialist needs. Is that related to something about sprouting leaves, your Mother mentioned once?"

"Sprouting-?" Asriel gripped his arm in discomfort at the topic. "Well I guess you could say that. No idea if it's even possible anymore, but if that happened, it would be more like flicking a switch than anything gradual. Yeah, she makes sure I'm stable. Fewer reasons to worry as time goes by, she says."

"But you're here today, Asriel. So not everything is shipshape."

"Well no," he agreed, loosening up with the subject change. "I have earache."

"Earache?" Doctor Drake sat up in his chair. "That's a first."

"Is it?" Asriel poked under the flap of his ear with a finger. "I didn't think it was unusual."

"For a Boss Monster it is. That's what those flaps are good at, keeping the inner workings safe. Never got a single complaint from your parents about it."

"Oh..." his eyes started to widen. "Maybe this is a warning sign. M-maybe I should ask Alphys to check in case I'm-"

"Now before you talk yourself into becoming another Woshua," interrupted the Doctor. "Can you at least let me have a look? If you see a footprint, it's probably a pair of shoes, not a human."

Confusion halted the growing fear in its tracks. "Not a human?"

"Old medical saying. Best not to jump to the worst conclusion right away."

"Oh. Okay, Doc."

Doctor Drake opened up a new entry in Asriel's medical file. "Now, try and describe the symptoms and when they happened."

"Well..." Asriel thought hard. "A few days ago, it felt like there was something itchy in my ear-"

"Which one?"

"Oh, my left, sorry. Mom always said never to stick a claw in there, but I couldn't help myself, I needed to scratch. I don't think I got anything, but the itchy feeling faded. But then the next day it felt like my ear, the same one, was blocked. I figured in for copper, in for gold, so I poked around again-"

The Doctor's beak implausibly twisted into a scowl. "Again?"

Asriel looked at the floor. "Sorry. Didn't help anyway, it still felt blocked. And then this morning there's a dull throbbing pain. My finger came away slightly damp and weird smelling." He looked even harder at the floor to evade the reproach. "Mom doesn't know yet, she'd think it was the leaves thing if I told her, but Dad said I should talk to you. So here I am."

Wings smoothly transcribed the symptoms into the computer. "Apart from your finger, have you inserted anything into your ear?"

"No."

"Been practising magic? Could a lucky shot have reached it?"

"No. I mean, I've been practising, but I wasn't sparring or anything. Mom still won't let Undyne."

"Have you been swimming or otherwise allowed your ear in contact with water?"

"No, not recently."

"Hmm. That rules out the obvious." The Doctor got off his chair and picked up a small wooden stick. "Can I have a look at your throat?"

Asriel blinked. "My throat? What's that got to do with it?"

"Something I picked up from studying human medicine. Humans have a bunch of passages inside them that link up their ears, nose and throat. Boss Monsters have something similar, and it means a problem with one could easily cause symptoms in the other. Now open wide and say 'ahh'."

"Oh. Ahhhh...."

Asriel's tongue was held down by the stick resting atop his sharp teeth. A ball of light manifested at the tip of a feather, and was now pointing just inside Asriel's muzzle, giving a clear view of what was inside. Both light and stick withdrew after a few moments.

"...you need to floss more," said Doctor Drake. "But your throat looks fine. It's probably your ear itself that's the problem. Can you lie on that bench there?"

"Okay, Doctor."

"You need the tail hole adjusted?"

"No, I can sit on it."

Asriel lay down on the bench while Doctor Drake retrieved an otoscope, help adroitly in his wing. He guided Asriel's head to look to his left, then lifted the ear flap and hooked it around his horn. He got a good view of the fur transitioning to a small fleshy hole, which he gently inserted the instrument, Asriel closing his eyes as it entered.

"Just checking your right ear first... Everything's looking normal. Alright, move your head, look over to your right."

Asriel obeyed, and a second ear was wrapped round his horns. Though his eyes were still closed, he could hear Doctor Drake's grunt of interest, indicating something unusual was there. Sure enough, the left inner ear was an angry red colour, clearly revealing some irritation. Asriel winced slightly as the otoscope entered.

"Sorry," said Doctor Drake bluntly, "but I've got to look. Hmm, bit of discharge. Looks like an infection, but that doesn't make sense, that's a human problem... Maybe it's a reaction to... Oh, crumbs!"

"W-what is it?" asked Asriel, tensing up.

Doctor Drake didn't answer at first. Instead he put down the otoscope and went to retrieve a long, fine pair of tweezers. Before doing anything with them he had a thoughtful look on his face.

"When you go to bed," he said, "do you like to wrap your ear around the pillow? Feels cool, relaxing?"

"Um, yes, I do," said Asriel, bewildered. "How did you..."

"So does your mother," said Doctor Drake. "Now hold still."

Asriel held still, eyes squeezed tightly shut as the tweezers delved into the angry red hole. Every contact with his canal felt like a pickaxe, but eventually it stopped descending and picked at a specific spot. He communicated his discomfort by grunting, all of which Doctor Drake studiously ignored. Finally the poking ceased.

"Got it."

Asriel opened his eyes. "Got what?"

"I told you," he showed the tweezers to Asriel, "Crumbs."

Sure enough, three or four specks of different size rested on the very tip. They were all brown, but one was much darker than the other. Doctor Drake's beak twisted in amusement as realisation dawned on his patient's face.

"Must have gotten trapped under your flaps as you turned in your sleep, and fell in from there. You're a bit old to be sneaking cookies into bed, Prince Asriel."

An unexpectedly harsh scowl appeared on Asriel's face at the tease, but he quickly mastered it, allowing sincere embarrassment to surface instead. "I snuck out of the house last week," he confessed, "I had something I needed to do. On the way back I stopped at an all night station and bought a snack off the human working there. I still had a couple when I got home, so I put the wrapping in the bin and ate the last two as I climbed back into bed."

The beak resumed an impassive expression. "So these were human cookies. That would explain it further, monster food wouldn't be as harsh on your ear canal. The price of having a tough outer defence is the inner area is very sensitive to foreign bodies. These little buggers got caught in a fold of skin, that's why you couldn't dislodge them."

"Oh." Doctor Drake saw the warmth flush to Asriel's cheeks, well hidden beneath fur. "Did you get them all?"

"Not sure. But I can make sure."

"You can? How do you- _Ahhhhhh!_ "

The bleat of shock was in response to a roaring noise and a feeling of ice flooding the enflamed ear canal. It didn't hurt, but the unusual sensation struck him with intense dizziness. As quickly as they came both retreated, leaving Asriel's ear in no pain, but feeling very tender.

"Like that," said Doctor Drake, withdrawing a glowing feather from near the ear. "Keep your snacks - and fingers - out of your ears, you should have no more trouble. I'll write you a prescription for ointment to help soothe the irritation, but it should be gone in a few days anyway."

"O-okay," said Asriel, sitting upright on the bench and trying to feel if he was still dizzy. "Thanks, Doctor Drake."

The Doctor shrugged in mild appreciation. "If it makes you feel less like an idiot, I've had to pull strange things from your father from time to time-"

Asriel held up a hand to halt the story. "I'll ask Gerson if I want the details. He has them, right?" A curt nod of the head. "Thought so. I try not to evade humiliation by letting others experience it, I find that unhealthy. Emotionally, I mean."

Doctor Drake returned to his desk to write out the prescription. "Suit yourself. And maybe consider adding me to your roster of professionals you consult with regularly. Checkups never hurt. Better to catch something small than let it spiral out of control."

Asriel scratched the beginnings of a tuft of white fur on his chin. "Alright, I'll talk to reception."

"Good lad. And don't forget to floss either, or you'll be like your father another way." He handled over an illegible scribble on a piece of paper.

"Golly. Well thanks again!" Asriel made for the door.

"Oh, one last thing."

"Hmm?"

"You might want to unwrap your ears off your horns. Would undo my fine work today."

"Ah, good catch!"

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think, and thanks for reading!


End file.
